there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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