My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
