My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
