I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
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