Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize