tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
