just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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