Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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