Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
