Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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