it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
