yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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