He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
