he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
