so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
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It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
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Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I think my moral compass just broke
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