please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Im part way to drunk.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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