i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
