I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i came on her dog
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
