Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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