No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Is it penis luge time yet?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
