what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Can I color on your dick again?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize