You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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