just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
