so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
So many bounce houses so little time
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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