Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
This toilet bowl is my home.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
