I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
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Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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