remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You took a bar mat shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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