ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
