i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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