All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I'm drive I can fine osifer
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
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She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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