he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize