He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
