I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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