she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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