i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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