Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
