I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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