Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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