Your face is a jimmy john
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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