plz talk dirty to me
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
