but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
