it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
