All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
