I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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