her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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