I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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