I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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