no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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