I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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