where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
