im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Small penises have feelings too.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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