I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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