Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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