I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
