we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
