I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
