We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
