So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
